Hi everyone. Rob here.
I have a love/hate relationship with routine. I got upset yesterday when something unpredictable happened. Then I got thrown another curveball when I was told I may have to change my diet. And yet I’ll happily make all sorts of changes to my weekly timetable or make no plans at all. The issue wasn’t the change of routine; it was the loss of control which exposed a lack of trust.
At the moment I’m fretting over all the little details of my thesis that need to be sorted out before D-day. I’m a bit anxious, battling procrastination and not enjoying it at all. Many of you will know the feeling. It has exposed the shortcomings in the thesis and my own planning. It has left me feeling quite vulnerable. This is quite a normal experience for thesis writers I hear but it’s not a pleasant one! It meant that when I unexpectedly lost some time and had to be somewhere else I reacted poorly. This is where faith and trust seem to be hard to access. Something has to change!
A loss of control happens often in our lives. Other people’s actions impact us directly and force us to change our plans. The grief of loss can leave us floundering. Natural disasters or even an inconvenient rainstorm can shake our world. We are reminded often that we are not the masters of this earth. That role was won by Christ and it is in Christ that we must trust. I did this today as I took my place in Christ once again, reminding myself that I am his and he is mine. I renounced fear and my lack of trust and gave myself over to my God once again wholeheartedly.
As I get older I realise more and more that giving our hearts over to God through Christ is a very deliberate act that must be done often, as often as necessary. For me this is at least daily and sometimes more. The battle against our hearts is constant and fierce. The enemy seeks to either diminish us so we shrink from God or fill us with pride so we turn our back on God. Finding our true life in Christ means rejecting both of those scenarios. We need to always come back to the fact that in Christ we have a place in his kingdom, we have a vital role to play but it does not revolve around us. We are not the ones on the throne.
As I confessed, surrendered and trusted afresh I asked God for a word. He said “do what’s in front of you.” Obvious, yes, but just what I needed. He has given me daily tasks and that’s enough to think about in this season. He has given me what I need for today. It reminded me of Jesus’ words:
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it own (Matthew 6:33-34).
Each one of you has your own stories about trying to control life and having to rebuild trust in God as he brought correction to your perspective! It’s part of the dying and rising that we do in our life with Christ. I am increasingly learning to welcome it and not fight it. I pray that will be the same for you too.
Love and grace.